


something wicked this way comes

by hischiers



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: accidental potion making discovery, connor mcdavid needs therapy, crack treated seriously (i'm not weird i promise), edmonton oil boys, nuge has horse wife witch energies, prove me wrong you can't, witchy business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 12:31:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17981387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hischiers/pseuds/hischiers
Summary: nuge just wants to get better at hockey.





	something wicked this way comes

**Author's Note:**

> for repo (@ghoulberg on tumblr!) and the rest of the starsnet gang. you didn't ask for this but i'm forcing you to read it so yeehaw.

ryan's bedroom is dark. the only light source being the simmering pot of ingredients forming his latest potion. this one would work.  _it had to._

 

so far this season he's only racked up an ugly, mediocre, measly fifty-six points. it isn't enough. it never _will_ be until he passes him. connor. _mcjesus_.

 

he's spent days, weeks maybe, flipping through his ancient textbooks, hoping to find something, _anything_ , that will help him play better hockey. that will help him rack up more goals and assists so he can finally reach ninety points and reclaim his throne as king of the oil boys.

 

ryan is snapped out of his fury-inducing thoughts by a crackling from the large cauldron in the center of his bedroom. he stands up off of his bed, covered in star wars sheets, and makes his way towards the hockey stick he uses to stir his concoctions. he reaches the potion- and it's  _beautiful_. it's just the right shade of orange, and the opacity is perfect enough that he can just make out his horse-like features glaring back at him. 

 

" _finally_ ," he neighs. "my time has finally come!"

 

-/-

 

connor does not know what the  _frick_ is up with nuge.

 

like, the dude's been missing for three days. he hasn't showed up to practices, he's about to miss a game- and like, nobody's called him or anything to see what's up, because it's not  _that_ serious. but it's still _weird_ \- weird enough that connor's coach sent him to check up on the dude. 

 

so, connor slowly makes his way over to to condo complex his alternate calls home, stopping three times on the way to refill the gas in his 1998 volkswagen beetle. connor laughs, then frowns, because his crappy old car reminds him a lot of his crappy season. 

 

connor knocks thirteen teams on ryan's door before letting himself in, because the area surrounding the dude's front door smells like burning plastic. he makes his way down an unfamiliar hallway, letting the growing sound of tribal chants lead him towards where he  _hopes_ his teammate is.  

 

-/-

 

ryan has one leg submerged in the viscous liquid when the door to his bedroom creaks open to reveal-  _connor mcdavid._

 

"Y̴̨̺̊̔̓̈̓̏̓̓̚Ő̴̢̟͉̞̻̦͔͔̀̈́̽ͅU̴̹͇̙̪͓̲̾̄͂̋̍̚͝ͅͅ!" he hisses, reaches for his hockey stick dedicated to whapping teammates. "w̶͙̲̹̅ͅh̷̨̲̗̰͍̒̌̿a̵̧̼͎͖͈͇̒͑̏̿̀̊̈́̕̚͝t̶͍̻̼͔̩͕̣̭͈̘͆̈̈́̔̔̇̒ ̶͉̯̝͚͍̪̬̳̒ä̴̝̞̠́̅̏͊͊̇̕͝ŗ̶̯̩͔̐̑̊̔̋͊̕ê̸̞͑͊́̍̏̾̚ ̸̡̬̟͇̭̪̤̥͋̓̄̾̇̈́̔y̸̛̲̩̥͚͆̂͐̚ǒ̷̧̡͎̯̩͙͓ū̷̡̢̢̡̝̪̙̩͕̎̿̄͊̚ ̸̢͙̙̯̯̗̫͌̆͆͆̃̌̚͠͠ḏ̴̩͓̽͋ǫ̴̺̣͚̰͇̗̪̽͜͜ǐ̵̡̉̇̾̂͋̃n̶̙̝̖̻̞̋ġ̸̭̈́ ̴̨̘͈̜͖̟̣̜͖͗ͅh̶͎̲̻̬̺͐̐̀̍͑͜e̷̟̱̺͝ȓ̵̛̯̠̌͐è̸̠͚̤̰͔̩̟͜?̸̲͉̳̥͙̭̦͋̓͝"

 

connor sighs, exasperated. if he is at  _all_ shocked at the scene unfolding in front of him, he doesn't show it. "dude, really?"

 

ryan smiles a wicked smile in his captain's direction. "you have come too late connor. in mere minutes i will be transformed into the ultimate ice hockey machine! nothing and  _no one_ will be able to stop me from overtaking  _you!_ " 

 

"excuse me?" connor asks, genuinely confused.

 

"i  _said-_ " nuge continues, but connie cuts him off before he can finish.

 

"i heard you, you pathetic pony! you really think... ɎØɄ ₮Ⱨł₦₭ ɎØɄ ₵₳₦ ØVɆⱤ₮₳₭Ɇ ₥Ɇ! ₥₵JɆ₴Ʉ₴, ₵Ø₦₦łɆ, ₵₴₱(₵₳₦₳Đł₳₦ ₴Ʉ₱ɆⱤ ₱ⱤØ₥ł₴Ɇ), ₥'Đ₳VłĐ, ₮ⱧɆ ₵ⱧØ₴Ɇ₦ Ø₦Ɇ, ₥₵₴₳VłØɄⱤ, ₥₵₣ⱠɄ₣₣, ₥₵Ⱡł₲Ⱨ₮₦ł₦₲, Ⱡł₲Ⱨ₮₦ł₦₲ ₥₵Đ₳VłĐ, ₵₳ⱤɆⱠɆ₴₴ ₥₵₩Ⱨł₴₱ɆⱤ, ₥₵₵Ⱨł₵₭Ɇ₦?"

 

all of a sudden, ryan's previously pitch black room is illuminated by connor's glowing eyes. the potion he is submerged in evaporates into a fine dust, leaving him and his polka-dot pajamas exposed to his teammate's wrath.

 

the next thing he knows, everything is bright, and connor is looming above him, muscles enlarged and his mcflow returned to its true form. he hears connor utter a single word before his vision goes black.

 

" _kachow_." 


End file.
